opps forgot to add in.. after i pray when i walked into my room i stumb my toe! T__T on e armchair in my room.. its been a long time since i stumb my toe on anything!! n u know usually when u accident kick yer toe on a leg of a chair it just bloody hurts!! but it doesnt bleed right?

haha sadly mine does.. it must be pretty hard to actually bust e skin, din know it was bleeding till it left blood stains on e ground n tats e 2nd time it happened... e 1st time my toe bleed cos i cut too deep then i walked to e kicthen when i walked back i was wondering who e stupid idiot who left blood stains on e floor, then i realized its me!!! WeeeeeEEE~~ ^^

Ah long time since i posted up anything, just to update there a new cat in e house... long haired... trying to find a new home for her.. she kept up up all night on e 1st day.. wow an accident just happen outside my house really!! hmm cant see anything.. trees blocking..

But wat made me post today is actually more like a little freaky, my 1st family home in singapore was in blk 470 in tampines (yes yes.. i guess it haunted there, so many suicide cases) i stayed there from 5yrs old till about 11, n while i was there me n my sister always see a black shadow at e corner of our eye but when we turn to look, it zip away. But it doesnt strike us as odd or anything cos we were young n thot it was normal, onli after i moved out n many yrs later i realized it was not.. normal.. so since i've moved i nvr seen any shadow thing at e corner of my eye, but these few weeks its happening again... i din think much of it but somehow today wat i saw was alittle more then wat i been seeing for e past few weeks. i was standing at my door going in to e house n looking out at an angle then e corner of my eye i see a large man shape shadow walking towards e wall, i turn my head quickly to look cos i thot it was a neighbour but there was nothing there n my mother was outside feeding e cat so she also can tell if there is someone there.

Cos it was larger n more clear then i haf ever seen so far so i whisper to tell my mother, she kinda got serious n pulled me to e alter n light 3 candles, n try to squeeze a rosary over my head, which doesnt fit... n made me pray. so now e rosary cross is taken off n put onto my braclet..

These kinda things happen in philippine so she takes it seriously, i cant really recall wat i saw e past few weeks but i remember some were white n small n floating n some were black, but today was e 1st time i see something like wat i saw. i think i ever saw in my room too but those were white.. my mother says tat maybe i must haf gone somewhere n this thing decide to follow me.. now tats creepy... i nvr do anything to them... so im not afraid.. somehow halfway typing this out my shoulders ache... i better go get my cat to company me...

Yay tonite got BBQ! free food! haha im broke... anyway this is a pic of my beloved, much adored cat, his name is----- Ugly! :p
















yes i know he not ugly at all, he super cute!! but... tats e name my mother gave him when he was a kitten wit his brother.. his brother has nicer colors n was name cutie. n cos ugly keep bullying cutie so my mother name him tat.. n he response to tat name so i cant change it...

e vet nurse had a fun time laughing over it..... so did e doctor.. cos when i made e appointment they had to register my name n my cat's so they put 'Ugly'+ my surname... haiz..

I just watched Elizabethtown today (oo maybe more then yesterday sinces its over midnight), its beautiful! its perfect! its so true! its funny n sad, usually im e type who would cry buckets over little things but e way how its done my eyes onli watered n quickly e scene becomes funny, n makes me smile~ I love e character Clare, in many ways, i can relate to her. N yes im a substitute person too, n drew also i can relate to, e way when he on e helicopter n he looks out then to e emergency exit its something tat i would do too!

I love Clare bubbly character, n how much fun there is in her. She hides her sadness behine a great fun person. I wish i could be like tat, nvr to let bad things take u down all e way, but just take it, then throw it aside to move on. im like tat to a degree but she e expert!! i need to learn from her!!

Oh n is it fair when my mother gave me a digital radio alarm clock about 8yrs ago n its still working great, then after few yrs she decide tat she get 1 for herself too but now hers broke so she came into my room n took e clock tat she gave me all those yrs ago n replace it wit her broken 1 n claims tat she bought it wit her own money n tat she din give me tat clock in e 1st place. It tat fair?!! I hate it when she claims all things tats mine belongs to her. my roller blades tat my father got for me, n she din even ask me, got sent to her relatives in e philippines! n when i cant find it she then told me tat my cousins r having so much fun on them! when i scold her y she din ask me 1st she says tat she e 1 who got e blades wit her money! omg! i remember it was my father who got it for me!!! we shop together for it my mother nvr shop for any sport stuff wit me! I hate her i really hate her so much! she wants to be young n try to act like my sister or something, when i told her she a lousy mother she says tat she a great mother cos she look after all her brothers n sisters, its so different!! Looking after yer sidlings compara to yer own kid is not e same!

She loves to watch documentaries but she doesnt listen to e words n often she makes up wat she sees, n keep asking me questions during e show when im trying to watch it! n i keep telling her to keep quiet n listen n she doesnt! annoying!! bcos of her i haf a pretty short patience, especially wit her. n she says im rude... n i wouldnt change until she stops n listen to herself!! but who am i to say all these.. my friend's mother is also e same n they're about e same age.. so i guess it must be e menopause coming. wat i hate most about her is she onli proud to show me off when compara wit her own friends kids, but she doesnt get happy when they compara me to her. Its like im onli useful for tat! sometimes i wish i died wit my sister, life isnt so great anyway.

Sry i just gotta complain...

Did some changes to this blog, i realized tat deep inside im quite a depressing person so i surround myself wit cute, bright and cheerful things, even in person im a cheerful person as many of my friends would describe me. but in reality im just covering up, i really dun like being sad all e time but sometimes seeing anything tat looks like-like on TV, happy families or animals die n even ppl dying would make me cry. tats y i always look for things to make me happy

Right now im listening to some great music, n then i put my hands together flat against eachother then i open them like a book, n u know e lines u haf on yer hands somehow on my hands e lines join up to form a smile, tat made me happy. Seeing a dog makes me happy, seeing a leaves blowing around carelessly makes me happy, seeing swifts trying to race e cars on e road makes me happy. i see n notice small things around to cheer me up

somehow even when i notice such things, i notice them more then ppl. its more amusing to see nature then ppl.

haha.. its been awhile since i posted.. im just lazy when it comes to writing/typing something.. also i was mostly interested in my friends blog where im part of it. something happen made me start to post again.. no i dun think i want to share it.. even in here.. its sad.. i dun even want to remember it again if i ever read back my blog entry..

But watever tat happened, make me thot of alot of things n it made me want to blog again.. but im still lazy.. haha.. my brain thinks faster then i can type, if there is a way to think n e words just post itself up then i be blogging more often. Also those meaningful, werid, funny, offpoint and even no point... thots often happened when i dun haf any writing materials nearby to write it down, so by e time i got home i forgotten wat it was. n its always best to write when tat inspiration hits u. Well come to think of it i did manage to write 1 down... but its silly... cos i got bitten by a mosquito n it itches so much tat i wrote it down.. not a good inspiration to post here.

well hopefully now i be blogging often but i think most likely i be lazy again so my next post might be in a yr, so tata!

Oh i remember something nice today! its been raining for 3 days n somehow e sun decides to shine thru today, i luv morning warm sun after days of rain~ cosy. My cheeks felt warm tat i thot i may haf rosy cheeks, n its so nice to haf my feet dry!

I hate ppl who can't keep their promises, they dun seem to get it, how I take promises to heart. Each time a promise is made, ppl feel safe that its true and will be kept, and rest with peace in their hearts. Maybe for some ppl its alright to have them broken, maybe cause they are contented with their own lifes, so some broken promises would'nt make much of a deal.

Maybe its just me, I start out with a pretty happy life, no worries with child-like happiness, nothing could really bother me even if my father was drunk most of the week, my parents both make promises to me and my sister but we never hold them seriously, cause.. well.. we're quite happy. But it was onli later when promises made a great deal to me, all of the sudden I was alone, my happy and carefree life was gone, and promises tat were made then seem to calm me set me at ease... but often- no all the time they were broken. Each time 1 is made it sets me high and made me dream of much better things to come, but as each 1 of them were broken its like a stab to my heart. Each stabbing and wounding makes me cling onto more promises hopeing anyone of them might come true, the worst ones comes from my own parents. Now whatever promises they make I can never ever bring myself to believe, they may think tat im stubborn and all but its really their own fault, each time they break 1 promise to me it steel my heart against them now the wall is 3 inch thick.

So now any promises made to me however small, it must be kept. To a child, a promise meant a whole world, by breaking it, you destroy everything.